38. Sermon on the Mount Secrets - A Real-life Example of Consequences

In the previous post, we were discussing the consequences of disobedience to the Word of God relating to marriage and promised a real-life example. These are not real names.

Jenny was married to Jock. Neither was born again. Julia and I became friends with them before Jock left Jenny for another woman and Jenny filed for divorce. It was not a pretty divorce. We followed it closely because Jenny and Julia had built a strong friendship. The court stipulated that the children must remain with Jenny and may visit Jock at certain times. Yet every time the children came back from Jock’s house, they were confused because Jock and his new woman tried to lure the children away from Jenny.

Then Jenny met Mark. He had three children with his ex-wife, Theresa, and they were about the same ages as Jenny’s. Eventually, they decided to get married. Shortly after their marriage, Theresa, who loved her freedom and was not exactly maternal, realized that she could dump her children—usually unexpectedly—on Jenny. During these visits, Jenny realized how neglected the children were. In time, Theresa proved so bad a mother that Jenny and Mark agreed to look after the children permanently.

Unfortunately for Jenny, Mark’s children were troublemakers. Before long, Mark only punished her children and spoiled his. If this had been the only problem, it might have been tolerable, but Mark wasn’t as he appeared. All the signs were there that he did not love Jenny. He hardly ever took her side, covered for her, or protected her.

Then one day a hard blow hit Jenny. Jock had the children for the holidays, and when they returned, he suggested that they come and live with him. There they would each have their own room and attend an excellent school. After some research, Jenny discovered that he had spoiled them with gifts, attention, and their own rooms, while in her house they had to share rooms with troublesome step-siblings. The worst for Jenny was that Mark took Jock’s side because the burden of her children would then be off his shoulders. Jenny ended up raising another woman’s children while a stranger raised hers.

Did God intend for Jenny to have such a life? No. Did Jenny honour God by getting a divorce? No. Did she honour God by marrying again? No. Did God bring all these problems on her as punishment? No. Why then did it come upon her?

King David received forgiveness after he had realized what he had done when he committed adultery with Bathsheba, but he still had to bear the consequences of his deed. Achan repented when God demanded consecration, but he had to bear the consequences. If God had withdrawn the consequences, He would have declared Himself a liar, for he expressly warned them of the consequences of disobedience.                       

Jenny, through her disobedience, committed adultery with the evil forces, causing a separation between herself and God. The door then opened for the evil forces to do what they wished with her circumstances.

I assume that there are happy second marriages, but the previous partners cannot be wished away, and neither can the enemies of God. Even though things might appear happy on the surface, perfect happiness is often impossible because of external influence. The same applies to the influence of impure thoughts on a relationship due to pornography and previous sexual relationships.

I do know of Christians who assist divorced persons, through counseling, to make their second marriages more successful. However, this is how we should live: God said it, I do it, and that settles it. God chose one man for one woman, and He is more than able to make any marriage happy, providing the couple submits to His authority and everything is undertaken under His personal supervision. 

Having said all this, however, it is important to remember that in verse 32 of Matthew 5 Jesus made an exception by which divorce is acceptable, which is marital unfaithfulness. This includes marriage partners who refuse to keep their marital vows to love and to both physically and emotionally care for their spouse. A woman who divorced under this condition will therefore be exempt from the command concerning remarrying and is not considered an adulteress when she remarries.
I do realise that many Christians have been divorced and remarried, and I don't think it should be an issue for condemnation. All Christians have made mistakes that caused disobedience to God's Word. However, we should all strive to live as obedient as possible to all of God's commands as written in His Word. This way we will have more joy, power, victory, and revelation of who Jesus is (John 14:21, 23).

For children and adults who are prepared to learn in a childlike way. For more information see http://t-a-c.co.za.